Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Gennaro Gattuso Has Lost His Shit

Today's 1-0 victory over AC Milan has to be one of the most famous in Tottenham's history even though the San Siro is no longer the fortress it was in previous European competitions. Tottenham played an intelligent, counter-attacking game in the second half and as AC Milan pressed, the ball fell to the right pair of legs for Spurs' fans.

Say what you will about Aaron Lennon, he's wicked fast. Also, he's not Theo Walcott, which is a compliment. How many of you think Theo would have run like the hammers of hell straight out of bounds? Yeah, me too. Whoever says speed doesn't kill needs to ask Mario Yepes what was going through his mind as Lennon touched the ball around him, hurdled his knee high challenge, and squared the ball neatly for Peter Crouch. I'm thinking is was something akin to, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" But in Spanish...or at least Italian if he's picked up the language sufficiently enough to swear in it.

Anyhow, the real story here is the post match fisticuffs between Gennaro Gattuso and Joe Jordan. Gattuso was about to go off all game and it shouldn't have shocked anyone that a guy they call "The Snarling Dog," after being culpable for Tottenham's goal, might choose to vent his frustrations at the Tottenham assistant he had previously shoved on the touch line earlier in the match. Way to keep it classy, Gennaro.

Having said that, I don't think this is where he lost his shit. I mean, we've all been there, right? Hotly contested match? Emotions boiling over? A few choice words to the other team's bench? It happens to the best of us...especially those of us with canine inspired nicknames. Where Gattuso lost his shit was - and I mean LOST his shit - is when he decided to go after Joe Jordan.

If you didn't know all you needed to know about Big Joe Jordan when he BARELY FLINCHED after Gattuso HEAD BUTTED him, know these two things:

1. He's Scottish. The Scottish invented the head butt. The old Scottish kiss. It's a wonder Big Joe Jordan didn't just smile and bat his eyes.

2. He used to look like this...

Think he's celebrating a goal there? Nope. That's Jordan after eating a referee who gave him a yellow card...for eating another player who looked at him funny...another player from his own team.

Gennaro Gattuso has lost his shit.


  1. Hahahaha! Fucking riot! I'm not sure what the line on this match was, but one might bet Gattuso had placed a personal one (Johnny Hustle-style), on his own team.
    Great pic of Jordan as well.

  2. imagine that game with bale on the left. Could have been 4-0. Serie A sucks.

  3. update....Gattuso admitted he lost his shit. Under FIFA investigation for his antics.

  4. Yeah, I'm not a big Serie A fan myself. It's a little to staid and defensive for my liking. The pace too is enough to put you to sleep...and then we have the histrionics,,,and the handbags. If the league has something going for it, it's the ridiculous number of players with really, really good hair.

    This is Doug, BTW. Just didn't sign in.